Occasionally someone will ask me how Jim and I have managed to stay married for over 40 years. . .

This is truly a good question.  Sometimes I wish I knew the answer!  How can a couple stay together, especially in this day and age, for that many years?  Or perhaps the better question is, “How could they not?”

Regardless, whenever I hear this question, I immediately think of two of my favorite movies.  You see, there is a lot to be gleaned from certain Hollywood films – more than the makers may even realize.

In True Grit, for example, little Nattie Gann was on a mission – she sought out the Marshall as her helpmate – albeit he was somewhat unwilling, and that is for certain sure!

Regardless, they faced many hardships together – as we in marriage often do.  At times in the movie, these two were climbing treacherous mountains in terrible weather, facing down bad guys with intent to harm them.  Believe me, Jim and I have experienced this more than a few times in our marriage ~ figuratively speaking of course!

Or, there was the scene where they faced a den of deadly snakes which must be dealt with.  This could come in many forms in a marriage; people outside of your marriage often love to find ways to tear down what they wish they had.

It may be as simple as someone envying you and your relationship ~ again without realizing all the work it takes to have a good marriage ~ and they deem to tear it apart just because of their own envy and jealousy.

Sometimes others may look at your marriage and think that it has always been all sunshine and roses, and from that determine that if they had your spouse then they too would have a “magical marriage.”  This particular snake is a tough one to battle, as you may not even see it coming until it is almost too late.

And of course there are the snakes that come in the form of temptation.  There are plenty of opportunities in this world for one or the other of us to be drawn toward that green grass on the other side of the fence. . . .  not realizing that the grass is full of snakes.  But, ya know, if we are careful, and diligent, we more often than not are able to combat this problem before it occurs, with the help of the good Lord, for sure!

Then there is the snake of discouragement!  Sometimes we just get tired.  The trail has been to long or to hard, and we consider giving up.  But if we press on, when we get to the top of that mountain, it will all be worthwhile.

I am sure there are lots other snakes that can strike at a marriage.  I could sit here all day coming up with scenarios, but lets move on for now.

My favorite is the story of Rocky!  In this somewhat vivid tale of good against evil, there is also a love story interwoven throughout.  At one point, Rocky Balboa responds to Adrianne’s brother when asked why he loves her, “Well, you see,” says Rocky, “we got gaps.  She’s got gaps, and I’ve got gaps; and together we fill gaps!”

That my friend is much of what true love is all about.  We simply fill each others gaps.  There are no perfect people in this world, and there are no perfect marriages.  But if we recognize that we each have “gaps” and we work to fill those gaps with love, caring, humor, understanding, or whatever the need may be, it might just all work out somehow.  Marriage takes work, and sometimes it takes more than others.  But anything worth having in this life takes a bit of work!  So there you go. . .

However, I don’t pretend to know everything, so. . .  see me in another forty years and I might just tell you the end of the story. . .