Tit for tat.  We don’t hear this term much these days, but it basically means to give someone as good as they got.  Or, to respond back to someone in the same manner as they have responded to you.

One thing I’ve learned in living this life of nearly sixty years, rarely does throwing something back in anothers face bring harmony or peace.  Even though they may have wounded you deeply, or made you sad, or disappointed you; to try and get back at them is futile.

I watch people.  Sometimes, occasionally, I am surprised and see the good in others, but more often than not, I see the fragile, the bitter, the lost, the wounded, the frightened parts of individuals – the parts they try so desperately to hide.

What if, rather than giving tit for tat, what if. . . we tried loving others in spite of their pain, in spite of their heartache, in spite of their downright meanness?

Of course, then I ask myself, “But how do you love someone who simply doesn’t want your love?  How do you care about, or for, someone who makes it abundantly clear that they prefer you to leave them alone?”

Perhaps that in itself is the answer.  Perhaps we let them go, we give them space, we stop pressing in.  There is an old saying, “If you love someone, set them free.  If they love you, they will return.”

So, I suppose I said all of this to say, that perhaps giving “tit for tat” is not the best way, nor is it beneficial to building long term, healthy relationships.

If only we could find it in our hearts to love unconditionally as Christ loves us.

If only we could forgive and accept others as we so desperately need to be forgiven and accepted.

If only. . . we didn’t give in to the urge to play the games.